WHAT DO I NEED TODAY?
It’s not enough to check in on yourself though. There is also need for action. And that involves responding to what you need. This is what is know as self care. Some people struggle with this concept as they may see it as fluffy or self indulgent. But it’s not.
Owen explains it is the practical act of caring for yourself but self-compassion needs to come with it. They both need to work hand in hand.
‘I call this carepassion: the act of caring for oneself compassionately,’ he said. ‘This really is the heart and soul of better mental wellness.’
WHAT DO I NEED EMOTIONALLY TODAY?
Consider how you’d respond to a distressed child. Most people, when they see a child crying, upset, frightened or vulnerable, will seek to comfort and soothe that child. It’s an innate primal response. And that’s exactly how we should try to respond to our own emotions (particularly difficult ones) when they arise.
Ask yourself: What do I need? Allow a moment for the emotion to speak. It may be that an image, a word, a memory, a sound or even a song comes to mind. Here are some examples of needs that might arise and suggestions of what they could mean:
- Sadness: I need rest. I need release. I need to be heard. I need to stop. Anger: I need this to change. I need to be understood. I need to express this.
- Fear: I need to feel safe. I need to know I’m not alone. I need to know everything is OK.
- Loneliness: I need company. I need to be understood. I need new people. I need someone to listen to me.
Take the time to figure out what you need in the day ahead – whether that’s time with friends, or a moment of quiet reflection
WHAT PRACTICAL STEPS COULD I TAKE TODAY TO HELP MYSELF EMOTIONALLY?
When you have a sense of what needs your emotions are revealing, decide what acts of carepassion might help you care for your emotional self that day. For example: rest a day away, lunch with a friend, a walk in the park, watching a film or cooking a favorite meal.
HOW WILL I TREAT MY EMOTIONS TODAY?
Will you go easy on yourself? Will you talk to yourself calmly, and with kindness and acceptance? Will you drop the judgement, criticism and harshness towards yourself? Notice how the emotions begin to settle when you do because they have been given permission to be seen, to be heard and to be as they are. This is a powerful way to live.
WHAT DOES MY BODY NEED TODAY?
Ask your body: what do I need? When you check in with your body, it’s important to respond to it, and be curious about that it may be communicating. For example:
- Pain: I need release. I need freedom. I need to get away. I need to let go.
- Tension: I need to relax more. I need space. I need to express this. Tingling: I need reassurance. I need some clarity. I need a plan. I need to find ease.
WHAT PRACTICAL STEPS COULD I TAKE TODAY TO HELP MY BODY?
Whatever your mobility status, some form of action could help unlock the negative energy that’s held in your body. Moving creates flow that helps unlock areas of ‘stuckness.’ For example, stretching, yoga, pilates, a run or a walk.
Try and plan for some form of movement during the day. Moving creates flow that helps unlock areas of ‘stuckness’
HOW WILL I TREAT MY BODY TODAY?
Will you treat your body gently, and with kindness, and acceptance? Will you drop the judgement, criticism, and harshness towards your physical self? Will you fuel your body with the nutrients needed to support your health? Again, when you implement these actions, notice how the body settles.
WHAT DOES MY MIND NEED TODAY?
The human brain, like every organ in the body, can sometimes be overworked. It needs time to rest, reset and recover. If you don’t create space within the day for this to happen then your brain will soon become exhausted.
Remember: your mind is the epicenter of everything. Maintenance isn’t a luxury, it’s an absolute must because your brain is like a sponge. It absorbs all the content of your day. It responds when you overthink. It activates your ‘threat’ mechanism when you’re in stressful situations. In short, it will keep working unless you instruct it to pause.
WHAT PRACTICAL STEPS COULD I TAKE TODAY TO HELP MY MIND?
Techniques such as meditation and breath work are powerful because they can act as a means of instructing the brain to pause or slow down. They create equilibrium. But anything that helps create a sense of calm and space in your day is good. Each day perhaps consider the following, alongside meditation and breath work:
- Rest for your mind: reading for pleasure, watching a favorite TV program or movie
- Minimizing stress and pressure: feeding your mind nurturing information with motivational podcasts, a documentary, a TED Talk, a non-fiction book on a subject of interest
- Spend time in green spaces
- Eat healthy foods that promote a healthy brain
- Talk kindly to yourself