A woman from the gypsy community has taken to social media to explain why she would never date a non-traveller man, also known as a ‘country man’.
Charlotte Ann, 29, who is based in Peterborugh, makes TikTok videos where she addresses misconceptions about gypsy culture.
Previous videos she’s posted include ‘What dating is like for gypsies and travellers? and ‘What is the difference between gypsy and travellers?’
In this video, Charlotte addressed the question of whether she would ever marry a man outside of her culture – it was in response to a comment from a follower asking: ‘Would you marry a settled man?’
At first she joked: ‘I don’t know if this is a wedding proposal or just a simple question, I don’t now which one it is, but we’re gonna answer it cause I’ve been asked a few times.’
Then, answering the question, she said: ‘No. That’s the short answer. The short answer is no.
‘I’m gonna explain before the Karens come into the comment box and say, “Well you talk about equality, you talk about oppression. But you’re saying you wouldn’t marry a country man”. Yes, and I’ll tell you why.
‘I’m traditional. Am I 100% traditional? No. I’m single at home at 29, so no I’m not 100% traditional but no one is 100% traditional any more because it’s 2023.’
She continued: ‘I just prefer to marry my own kind, whether that be a gypsy or a traveller. I’m half-gypsy, half-traveller, so one or the other I’d be marrying in my culture.’
The 29-year-old adds ‘No one realises how different your culture is to my culture and I just can’t fathom the hassle of that’
Charlotte said she believes marriage and life ‘is hard enough without being that different,’ describing travellers and non-travellers as living in ‘two different worlds’.
The 29-year-old added: ‘No one realises how different your culture is to my culture and I just can’t fathom the hassle of that.’
One example she used was the concept of pocket money, saying that in her culture you ‘don’t do pocket money,’ so she’s not sure what she would do if she married a ‘settled man’ and their children asked for it.
She continued: ‘There’s just so many things that are different and I just couldn’t be bothered with that. I don’t want to have to explain who I am to the person I’m getting married to.
‘I know a traveller man wouldn’t 100% know me, but they’d know me in ways at least.
‘There’s no explaining who you are on the first date. I don’t need to tell him the basics because he should know that cause he’s another traveller.’
Concluding her thoughts, she ended the video by saying ‘So, no I couldn’t be bothered with all that and it’s not me.
‘I think the best matches are matches where people start at a level playing field.
‘I don’t want to have to teach them my ways, I’m not Pocahontas, you’re not Captain John, I just don’t have the time nor the energy.’
Charlotte Ann makes TikTok videos where she addresses misconceptions about gypsy’s and answers questions to do with her culture
Lots of people in the comments shared their own stories and agree with Charlotte’s reasoning.
One person wrote ‘100% agree if you aren’t equal to start then it’s likely bumps all the way,’ while another added ‘as someone who’s parents are two very different cultures I think it’s good to be with the same culture because it doesn’t create a barrier between them.’
Another added ‘I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be with somebody who understands and shares your culture.’
Commenters were supportive and said that nobody should question Charlotte’s personal choice
However, not everyone is on the same page – one person wrote ‘I’m a traveller married to a country man and there is no difference,’ to which Charlotte replied ‘Thats straight up lie.’
Another comment read: ‘I love the way you conduct yourself, can I ask though what if a country man was happy to take on your culture 100%?
‘I have a friend (country man) who fell in love with a local lovely gypsy girl and adopted her & her family’s way of life, they’re now married & have kids. There the sweetest couple.’
Charlotte replied explaining that she sees that as ‘selfish’ and someone ‘shouldn’t have to change who they are’ for you to love them.