A husband-to-be has revealed how his life is being torn apart by a row between his fiancée and his family over their ‘child-free’ wedding.
Taking to parenting platform Mumsnet, the British groom explained that ‘all hell broke loose’ when he told his family children aren’t invited to their wedding – because his brother and two sisters all have toddlers.
He admitted that his mother had ‘refused to come to the wedding’, and his relations with his family are at an all-time low – while his wife-to-be has refuses to let him speak to his family about the wedding anymore.
Many rushed to the comments with some people claiming he should ‘dump her’ because she sounds controlling, while others said his family have ‘bullied’ them and need to back off.
A British man has revealed on Mumsnet that his fiancée has fallen out with his family over their ‘child free’ wedding (stock image)
He explained the awkward situation in the post: ‘Getting married in 5 months and my fiancée hates my family, it’s ruining everything.
‘We had a dream wedding planned since we was young in Portugal, when we expressed to my family the plans and that our wedding is going to be child-free all hell broke loose.
‘My mother said she was not coming, my other family members said I was silly and stupid and should rethink as my brother and two sisters have really young kids, all under three.’
‘We want a child-free wedding and I gave them so many options and offered to pay for other family members to come to look after the kids for the six hours the wedding was on. All fell on deaf ears.
Taking to parenting platform Mumsnet, the anonymous groom explained that ‘all hell broke loose’ when he told his family their wedding would be ‘child free’
‘This led to us changing everything and are now getting married on our own abroad and having a UK party for family.
‘Now my wife-to-be feels my mother has ruined the best moment/time of her life, and she will never get this back, something she has always dreamed of and my family has ruined for her.’
He continued: ‘She has so much anger towards my family and even though my family has said sorry and that they would make it work, it was already ruined for us.
‘I have explained to my family all how I feel, how they have made us feel and what they have done and ruined.’
He continued: ‘I told them to just not talk about the wedding coming up to us and just try move on as it’s really ruined the relationship.
Many rushed to the comments to tell him to ‘dump’ his fiancée as it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship
‘I am now arguing everyday with my partner and my relationship with my family is at the lowest it has ever been, I feel like I really have no option but to be a punching bag for everyone to express how they feel.
‘If I speak to my family, my partner gets angry as it’s always wedding related, if I don’t speak to my family the relationship gets worse.
‘My partner now hates me speaking to my family, wants to know every conversation I have with them even if it’s on the phone I have to explain what was said.
‘My mother is still talking about the wedding party to me three or four times a week to try to feel involved and make things easier and it’s infuriating my partner and I told her to stop talking about it.
‘To the point if I get a text from my family it will ruin our entire day, as my partner thinks they are trying to get involved and she does not want them involved or talking about her wedding.
‘She said she doesn’t want my mother to be allowed to talk about the wedding to me also.
‘It’s gotten to a really low point and I have no idea what to do as I am now stuck in the middle, does my partner need to calm down and realise I could lose all my family over this and work together to sort it? Or do my family need to back off and realise they have ruined everything and give us space for now?’
Many rushed to the comments to tell him to ‘dump’ his fiancée because it doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship.
One person said: ‘You cannot marry her. She’s insane.’
Another wrote: ‘Is this what you want for the rest of your life? Either isolated from your family, or in constant conflict with your wife.
‘If you think it’s bad now, just wait until you have children (if that’s the plan). I’d honestly walk away at this point. You can see the type of person she is. The unreasonableness, anger and resentment she is capable of. No thanks. Bye bye.’
However some people disagreed, saying that they think his family have ‘have behaved like spoiled brats’
Another wrote: ‘Think twice about the kind of life you are going to have with a spouse who demands that you report the exact conversation that you have or had with anyone.
‘That demonstrates a level of insecurity and a need for control that may prove to be very difficult over time.
‘In the excitement about the upcoming wedding you are probably going to ignore these signs, but the day will come when you realize exactly what you are stepping into .Ironically, it will probably be your family to whom you will turn at that time.’
However some people disagreed saying that they think his family have ‘have behaved like spoiled brats.’
One person wrote: ‘I’m going to go against the grain and say I don’t blame your fiancee at all for being extremely upset that the dream wedding she’s always envisaged has been cancelled because your family threw their toys out of the pram and stamped their collective feet until they got their own way.
‘Presumably none of her family will be present at the scaled back ceremony abroad now and everyone’s just attending the UK party so no one’s left out?
Meanwhile others admitted they think both his fiancée and his family need to change how they are acting
‘I appreciate that child-free weddings are a pain for some, but it was what YOU wanted! Your family have behaved like spoiled brats, frankly – they’ve totally bullied you into doing what they want.
‘That said, her anger isn’t helping and she is starting to sound very controlling in wanting to monitor your texts.
‘But again, I don’t blame her in getting frustrated that your mum is suddenly all over the UK party like a rash when it’s not the wedding celebration SHE wants or dreamt of. I think I’d be livid and struggling to contain my feelings too.
‘I don’t know how you salvage this, short of cancelling the UK party and reverting to plan A. I feel so sorry for you caught in the middle, OP.’
While others admitted they think both his fiancée and his family need to change how they are acting.
One person said: ‘Both. Your fiancé needs to back off and forgive but your family also needs to realise they’ve ballsed up, upset your partner and they need to stfu to allow things to begin to heal.’
Another said: ‘Hmm I’m a bit on the fence, both sides have been a bit controlling.
‘When you say my mother is still talking about the wedding party to me 3/4 times a week to try to feel involved and make things easier is she making things easier by general chat/happy for you both, or is it ‘you need to do this/you need to invite XYZ?’