A woman has revealed she thinks it’s ‘impossible to have conversations’ these days after leaving two friends offended with ‘well intended comments this week.
Taking to parenting platform Mumsnet, the British mother explained that she had been stunned to have been ‘pulled up’ by different friends for throwaway comments over the past few days.
She asked other users if she was ‘losing it’ or if people are just getting easily offended these days.
People were divided with some suggesting she needs less ‘touchy’ friends, while others said she should consider her delivery.
The women explained: ‘Can I just check if I am losing it? Two instances this week where I was pulled up on really well intended comments that we taken up the wrong way and I’m baffled.
A British woman has revealed she thinks it’s ‘impossible to have conversations’ these days after leaving two friends offended with ‘well intended comments this week (stock image)
‘Friend one sent me a photo of her new hairstyle. I replied, I really like the new colour. Are you happy with it?
‘The response I got was “Should I not be? What’s wrong with it? Why are you even asking me that? Tell me what you really think.”
‘Friend two – we were talking about something that happened it the past and I said “You seemed happy about it”.
‘Response “Seemed? I am happy with it. Did you think I was pretending?” Am I unreasonable or is my use of the English language really poor an insulting?
‘Both friends are genuinely annoyed and I’ve no idea why.’
Many suggested her friends sound ‘tiresome’ and easily offended claiming they are the problem.
One person wrote: ‘They sound tiresome and out to be offended. Ignore would be my advice. I can’t see anything wrong in what you said. My teenager behaves like that. It’s exasperating but expected in teenagers but not in adults.’
Taking to parenting platform, the British woman explained that two ‘well intended’ comments were taken up wrong by different friends
Another wrote: ‘Woah… you have some touchy, paranoid friends. CBA with that. Tell them to calm the f**k down.’
While someone else wrote: ‘It’s them, not you! You sound lovely, caring about how they feel. Would love some friends like you!’
However some people suggested it might be how the woman is delivering her words that is the issue.
One person said: ‘It depends a bit on context, but I think I might find ‘are you happy with it?’ an odd response to a picture of my new hair do, it does sound a bit like you are testing the waters to see if your friend realises her new hairstyle is horrible.
Many suggested her friends sound ‘tiresome’ and easily offended claiming they are the problem
‘The second one is just odd and sounds like semantics.’
Another wrote: ”I really like the colour, are you happy with it?” implies to me that the nicest thing you could come up with was the colour, the rest of it you’re not keen on.’
While someone else said: ‘I think it’s all in the delivery. You could say “Ooh, that looks AMAZING – I love it! Are you happy with it?” In a voice that suggests they must be.
‘Or you could say “Well, I like…the colour. Eh…are you…happy with it..?” in a voice that suggests “because I wouldn’t be.”
‘Likewise you could say “You seemed happy about it” in a voice that suggests “You were delighted – it was lovely to see” or “You put a good face on it, but I’m wondering whether you honestly could have been pleased? About that? Really?”.
‘If two of your friends, who presumably wouldn’t be your friends unless they were reasonable and pleasant people, have felt stung by similar comments on your part, maybe you are accidentally saying it the second kind of way.’
However some people suggested it might be how the woman is delivering her words that is the issue
The original poster added: ‘It was a quick text. There was no badness in it. I do really like the colour.
‘Even judging by the responses, it seems that some people don’t take things at face value and over analysis minor things and assume things are implied that aren’t.
‘It’s draining having to watch ever single word. It’s so tedious and unnecessary.’
The original poster added that the messages had ‘no badness’ to them, and said she was finding it ‘so tedious’ to ‘constantly watch every single word’