Joke about Donald Trump named best Christmas cracker gag of 2019

‘What do you call a snowman on Love Island? A melt!’ Jokes about TV, Coleen Rooney’s detective work and Donald Trump are named best Christmas cracker gags of 2019

  • The public were asked to submit their best original jokes to the TV channel Gold 
  • Each Christmas joke was assessed and judged anonymously by 2,000 people
  • For the second year running, a joke about Donald Trump has topped the ranking 

Jokes about Donald Trump, Love Island and the Coleen Rooney-Rebekah Vardy sleuth saga have been named among the best Christmas cracker gags of 2019.

The British public were asked to submit their best original jokes for the annual competition run by TV channel Gold, which were then judged anonymously by 2,000 people.

The winning wisecrack, penned by secondary school teacher Matt King, reads: ‘Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn’t get on with china.’

Mr King, from Wokingham, received £1,500 towards a holiday and a box of Gold Christmas crackers, one of which contained his own gag.

This year’s winning joke, penned by secondary school teacher Matt King, reads: ‘Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate? He doesn’t get on with china’

It is the second year running that a joke about the US president has topped the list.

Last year’s winning joke read: ‘What does Donald Trump do after he pulls a cracker? Pays her off.’

Another of this year’s jokes riffed on Coleen Rooney’s claim that Rebekah Vardy’s Instagram account was the source of leaked stories about her private life.

The saga made headlines around the world, with the hashtag £WagathaChristie trending.

Another of this year's jokes riffed on Coleen Rooney's claim that Rebekah Vardy's Instagram account was the source of leaked stories about her private life

Another of this year’s jokes riffed on Coleen Rooney’s claim that Rebekah Vardy’s Instagram account was the source of leaked stories about her private life

A joke about Love Island reads: 'What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt'

A joke about Love Island reads: ‘What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt’

The joke reads: ‘What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite game to play over the festive period? Guess Who.’

The reality TV show Love Island also featured on the winning list.

A joke about the popular ITV2 programme reads: ‘What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island? A melt.’

Bruce Dessau, comedy critic and head of the judging panel, said: ‘Amongst the political turmoil that seems to have swamped our country this year, we can always rely on British humour to pull us through.

‘With subjects ranging from Brexit and Love Island, to Greta Thunberg and Coleen Rooney, there are jokes here to tickle even the biggest of Scrooges.’

Gerald Casey, Gold channel director, said: ‘The festive period is a time for reflection on the year, and although we’ve certainly had our ups and downs, it’s incredible to see that British wit remains as sharp as ever.’

The top 10 Christmas cracker jokes for 2019, according to Gold 

1. Why does Donald Trump have his Christmas dinner on a plastic plate?

– He doesn’t get on with china.

2. Why is Parliament like ancient Bethlehem?

– It takes a miracle to find three wise men there.

3. Christmas dinner is a lot like Brexit. Half the family were told they needed to make room for Turkey, so opted to leave Brussels.

4. Why has Santa been banned from sooty chimneys?

– Carbon footprints.

5. What is Coleen Rooney’s favourite game to play over the festive period?

– Guess Who.

6. Why doesn’t Jeremy Corbyn ever visit Santa?

– Because he struggles in the poles.

7. Why is Greta Thunberg boycotting parsnips and carrots at Christmas?

– Because she’s a swede dish campaigner.

8. What’s the difference between Rudolph’s nose and David Cameron’s autobiography?

– Only one will be red at Christmas.

9. What do you call a snowman who goes on Love Island?

– A melt.

10. What is Olivia Colman’s favourite part of a turkey?

– The Crown.

Stars who are proving you really DO get better with age (and their tricks to make it happen)

Months after wowing on the Fashion Week runway in her iconic green Versace gown, Jennifer Lopez made headlines once again over the weekend when she stripped down to the dress on Saturday Night Live. 

Standing tall, proud and as toned as ever, the 50-year-old star voiced what everyone was thinking when she quipped on stage: ‘Some people say I look better now than I did then [in 2000]. And I’m not bragging, that’s just, you know, gossip.’ 

And she isn’t wrong. J Lo’s age-defying good looks are the talk of the town, with countless words written about how the singer turned actress is in the prime of her life at the age of 50.

Best look: The singer wowed when she wore the plunging jungle-print dress at the 2000 Grammy Awards

J-Lo slipped into her world famous green Versace dress on Saturday Night Live this weekend (left) and said ‘now some people say I look better now than I did then [in 2000]’ (pictured right)

But while there is no doubt these last 12 months have been pretty extraordinary for Jenny From The Block – an engagement, a hit film, and being booked for the Superbowl are a few highlights – she is far from the only actress proving 50 is the new 30.

Hollywood darling Jennifer Aniston, who, like J Lo, was yesterday nominated for a Golden Globe award, is just as enviably radiant as she was two decades ago, while Gwen Stefani seems to look even younger than she did in her No Doubt heyday. 

But what’s the secret to their ever-youthful glow? FEMAIL turned to three specialists: celebrity hairstylist James Johnson, makeup artist Bridget O’Keeffe, founder of Blush + Blow London, and stylist Susie Hasler, of Stylist By Susie, for their verdicts on the A-list tricks of the trade…  

CATE BLANCHETT   

Cate Blanchett at the Academy Awards Nominees Luncheon on March 8, 1999

At the British Fashion Awards in London last week

Embracing her confidence: Cate Blanchett at the Academy Awards Nominees Luncheon on March 8, 1999 (left) and at the British Fashion Awards in London last week (right). With age, Blanchett has embraced her inner rock chick and favours more androgynous looks

FASHION 

Susie says: ‘We saw a different side to Cate when she appeared in Ocean’s 8, as a feisty criminal with a harder edge than we have previously seen her play before. She has become a lot more confident with her style and she now wears more androgynous styles – such as tailored suits and trousers – think Diane Keaton in Annie Hall. 

50 AND THRIVING 

Australian-born actress Cate Blanchett, 50, is nominated for a Golden Globe for her role in Where’d You Go, Bernadette? Last week Blanchett was the epitome of red carpet glamour at the British Fashion Awards, where she presented friend and collaborator Giorgio Armani with a gong. She is married with four children. 

When she has to glam up for the red carpet, she seems to embody the ethereal style from her character in Lord Of The Rings. Her style now seems much more authentic to her personality.

HAIR 

James says: ‘Cate’s the definition of timeless beauty. Keeping her image minimal throughout the years, she’s held onto her youth. The ‘less is more’ approach has really made Cate stand out as a natural beauty. Keeping her blonde tones honey looking, nothing too white that would wash her out or age her. The warmer blonde keeps her hair natural looking as opposed to being over processed; keeping her image pretty and soft.’

MAKEUP

Bridget says: ‘Cate is using colours that work with her natural skin tone now. Her eyes are accentuated, and made to look bigger with darker lashes, while the colour of her hair also adds vibrancy and gives her a fresher look.’

JENNIFER ANISTON 

California glow: Jennifer Aniston at the 1999 Emmy Awards

Jennifer Aniston in October

California glow: Jennifer Aniston at the 1999 Emmy Awards (left) and in October (right). Toning down the blonde in her hair has helped add warmth as Jennifer enters her 50s 

HAIR

James says: She’s the girl you want next door. Effortless beauty. For Jennifer it’s all in the cut. She knows how to work them layers. Known for her shaping (feathered round the front) she’s kept the image going for sexy textured hair. By having these layers in, she’s shown women of any age how to achieve movement and body. 

50 AND THRIVING 

Aniston is nominated for a Golden Globe for her role in Apple+ offering The Morning Show, which she executive produces with co-star and friend Reese Witherspoon. The actress set a Guinness World Record when she joined Instagram in October, setting the time for the fastest Instagram account to reach 1 million followers. 

‘For older ladies this can be important as the hair texture can change with age. Adding these layers in can help create dimension and body within the hair style. Toning down the blonde has also added warmth into the image.’

FASHION 

Susie says: ‘Many people feel that Jennifer’s style hasn’t changed since the days of Friends, but it has evolved in a subtle way. She still has the long, enviable, glossy locks, but her look now is a lot more crisp, tailored and classic. She has moved away from some of the more bohemian, girl-next-door outfits, and into a more timeless, Parisian style. She remains a firm style icon for women of all ages.’

MAKEUP 

Bridget says: ‘Jennifer’s eyes are so blue in both pictures but the shape is completely different between decades. 

‘The placement of eyeshadow and correct colour matching of her eyebrows opens up her face so much more.’

GWEN STEFANI

Grown-up but edgy: Gwen Stefani at an awards show in December 1999

Filming The Voice this year

Grown-up but edgy: Gwen Stefani at an awards show in December 1999 (left) and filming The Voice this year (right). Gwen has been able to remain true to her personal style

FASHION 

Susie says: ‘Gwen’s style has matured since the days of her pink hair and bolder looks from No Doubt. What I love about Gwen is that she always has a unique style that seems to work for her. 

50 AND THRIVING 

Currently as a judge on season 17 of The Voice, Gwen is becoming known to a whole new generation of music fans. The singer, who is in a high profile relationship with country music star Blake Shelton, will play the final dates of her successful Las Vegas residency next year. She has three sons with ex-husband Gavin Rossdale. 

‘She adds the rock chick, edgy style but in a grown up way, and manages to pull it off. For someone with naturally dark features, the platinum blonde hair works so well on her and keeps her look youthful and confident.’

HAIR

James says: ‘Vibrant hair has been done and can be left in the 90’s. 2019 is all about the softer tones, the pastel washes if opting for a hint of colour. The old striking look is definitely bold – not something I would recommend for the older generation. Older ladies should avoid the neon tones, keeping them more richer or washed out. Important to remember too when having blonde hair to keep the eyebrows light, going for too dark brows can age you.’

MAKEUP 

Bridget says: ‘Gwen’s brows are her biggest transformation. The lack of brow doesn’t allow her face and eyes to be framed correctly in the ’90s snap.

‘Her strong brow now makes her eyes look bigger, as well as clever liner placement.’

JENNIFER LOPEZ 

Better with age: Jennifer Lopez in 1998

At the Vanity Fair Oscars party this year

Better with age: Jennifer Lopez in 1998 (left) and at the Vanity Fair Oscars party this year (right). Hair pieces and layers have helped transform the performer’s looks over the years

HAIR 

James says: ‘The pop icon for many years, she’s now the hair goal image in everyone’s group chats. Chris Appleton has helped keep this hitmaker’s hair stylised and enviable! The use of clip ins and wigs, she’s now looking better than ever. 

50 AND THRIVING 

There is no doubt 2019 has been the year of Jennifer Lopez. It has seen an engagement to long-term boyfriend Alex Rodriguez; critical acclaim and a Golden Globe nomination for her role in Hustlers; and a sell-out worldwide tour. J Lo and A Rod have also made headlines for the way they have blended their families and brought their children together (they have three daughters and four sons between them). Next up, J Lo will be performing in the Superbowl halftime show – and could even receive an Oscar nomination, if industry insiders are to be believed. 

‘Using hair pieces can help thicken and transform the look. Shes kept root which helps the look seem more expensive, richer tones and ultimately less damage on her hair too! She’s made 50 the new 21.’

FASHION

Susie says: ‘J-Lo has always stayed true to her style but it’s evolved in more ways than one. I love that you can still see the late 90s Versace look in her clothing choices, but like Catherine Zeta Jones, she has toned down the makeup, for a more natural, sultry appearance. Her hair colour is lighter and softer, which is more flattering for her skintone. As we get older, overly dark hair can be harsh and unflattering, so the softer golden tones work well for her.’ 

MAKEUP 

Bridget says: ‘J-Lo’s brows were too harsh and dark in the ’90s snap, dropping her eyes. 

‘Comparatively, the honest hair and matching brows in the recent image lifts her whole face and draws the eye out, making her look lifted and sultry.’

Is Earth Getting Bigger Over Time?

Has Earth grown larger from the buildup of decaying vegetation through the ages?

— Robert in Spartanburg, S.C.

Earth isn’t getting bigger. It’s actually getting smaller!

Decaying vegetation does pile up across the planet, but not everywhere equally. Wind and rain erode the ground over time, and even where leaves and other vegetation do gradually accumulate, like peat bogs and river deltas, that material doesn’t add to Earth’s bulk.

Trees are built from air — well, air and water. The water comes from the rain and the ground, but most of the rest of a tree is carbon and oxygen that was extracted, by photosynthesis, from the carbon dioxide in the air. And that carbon dioxide came from somewhere else on Earth. None of these processes actually makes the Earth bigger or smaller — no mass is being created or destroyed. Atoms are just getting moved from one place to another.

But Earth’s size isn’t quite constant. Space around Earth is dusty; it’s full of asteroid debris, comet trails and ionized particles streaming away from the sun. And as our planet flies through that dust, our gravity vacuums it up.

The dust enters the atmosphere, drifts around and eventually settles on the surface. This steady flow of dust — along with occasionally larger chunks in the form of meteorites — adds about 43 tons of mass to Earth every day. It’s possible that a few molecules of the dust on your dresser recently arrived from another planet.

But that 43 tons a day is small potatoes compared to Earth’s mass, which is about 5,972,200,000,000,000,000,000 tons.

Moreover, and in spite of the added space dust, the planet is actually losing mass over all, because our atmosphere leaks. Gravity does a decent job of keeping Earth’s air wrapped around us, but a faint stream of lightweight gasses — mostly hydrogen, but also helium and oxygen — is continually escaping from the fringes of our atmosphere. These streams are particularly dense near the poles, where gas ionized by the sun flows out along the magnetic field lines in the form of the polar wind.

Thanks to our leaky atmosphere, Earth loses several hundred tons of mass to space every day, significantly more than what we’re gaining from dust. So, overall, Earth is getting smaller.

Don’t worry: At the current rate, it would take quadrillions of years for Earth to evaporate completely, millions of times longer than the expected lifetime of the sun. But if the air leak bothers you, you could always try to convince NASA to build a giant lid.

Randall Munroe is the author of the web comic XKCD and, most recently, “How To: Absurd Scientific Advice for Common Real World Problems.”

French Olympic figure skater accused of sending pictures of his penis to 13-year-old amateur

A French Olympic figure skater is being accused sending pictures of his penis to a 13-year-old female American Figure skater, who was then allegedly harassed by three coaches as they attempted to cover up the incident, reportedly telling the young girl that ‘men have their needs.’

The U.S. Center for SafeSport has announced that it is looking into the claims made by the girl’s parents against French pairs figure skater Morgan Cipres.

According to emails from the girl’s family that were obtained by USA Today, Cipres sent two pictures of his penis to the alleged victim, who practiced at a rink in Wesley Chapel, Florida, where he was training in 2017 in preparation for the 2018 Winter Olympics.

Figure skating coach Vinny Dispenza allegedly told the victim and another underage girl to request the pictures from Cipres in exchange for the promise of a pizza.

Coaches John Zimmerman and Silvia Fontana, a married couple, allegedly intervened in an attempt to prevent the girl’s family from coming forward.

Coaches John Zimmerman (right) and Silvia Fontana (left), a married couple, allegedly intervened in an attempt to prevent the girl's family from coming forward

French Olympic figure skater Morgan Cipres (left) is being investigated by the U.S. Center for SafeSport for the alleged abuse of a 13-year-old female amateur. Coaches John Zimmerman and Silvia Fontana (right, pictured in 2005), a married couple, allegedly intervened in an attempt to prevent the girl’s family from coming forward

Morgan Cipres (left) and his skating partner Vanessa James (center) were coached by John Zimmerman (right) who is accused of harassing the alleged victim to convince her to stay silent. Cipres and James finished fifth at the 2018 Winter Olympics in PyeongChang

Morgan Cipres (left) and his skating partner Vanessa James (center) were coached by John Zimmerman (right) who is accused of harassing the alleged victim to convince her to stay silent. Cipres and James finished fifth at the 2018 Winter Olympics in PyeongChang

The three coaches allegedly engaged in a cover-up in 2018 as Cipres continued preparing for the 2018 games, where he and his partner Vanessa James finished fifth.

The girl claims she was harassed for weeks by Zimmerman and Fontana, who told her that she was a ‘pretty girl,’ adding that ‘men have their needs.’

Dispenza is accused of threatening the girl, who claimed, ‘If I said something, he said I would never skate again,’ according to USA Today.

Coach Silvia Fontana is accused of harassing the alleged victim to keep her from revealing her allegations against Morgan Cipres

Coach Silvia Fontana is accused of harassing the alleged victim to keep her from revealing her allegations against Morgan Cipres 

USA Today obtained an email from the alleged victim’s tutor to a psychologist who worked with the girl.

‘Please ask her to share with you the many statements that have been made to her over the past few weeks (mostly by John) in an attempt to manipulate or scare her into keeping quiet,’ the tutor wrote. ‘She has been told that telling will place a target on her back with French fans, that she is the type of girl who does this (collect pics), that she has been asking for it by her clothing choices, that her dad is an attorney and imagine what he will do if he finds out, that she will destroy his career and that of his partner, and much more.’

The psychiatrist, Dara Bushman, told USA Today that she followed the correct procedure: ‘I did what I was bound to do ethically. I contacted the parents. I contacted the authorities. I wanted to make sure the child was safe.’

U.S. Center for SafeSport does not comment on specific matters of its investigations.

When contacted by USA Today, Cipres told the paper, ‘I’m sorry, I cannot talk to you.’ 

The alleged incident took place at a rink in in Wesley Chapel, Florida, where Morgan Cipres was training in 2017 in preparation for the 2018 Winter Olympics

The alleged incident took place at a rink in in Wesley Chapel, Florida, where Morgan Cipres was training in 2017 in preparation for the 2018 Winter Olympics

These allegations follow claims from American figure skater Ashley Wagner, who claimed in August that she was sexually assaulted by John Coughlin, a fellow American skater who committed suicide earlier this year after a former partner accused him of sexual abuse.

In an interview with USA Today, the 28-year-old Wagner says Coughlin assaulted her at a house party near the skating team’s camp in Colorado Springs back in 2008, when she was 17 and he was 22.

After she decided to sleep at the house, Wagner claims, Coughlin crawled into her bed and began kissing her neck.

‘I pretended to be deep asleep, hoping he would stop,’ she said. ‘He didn’t. When his hands started to wander, when he started touching me, groping my body, I tried to shift around so that he would think I was waking up and would stop. He didn’t.’

Wagner explained that she did not try to get away at first because she was ‘absolutely paralyzed in fear.’

‘I then felt myself starting to cry, and I knew I had to make a choice,’ she told USA Today. ‘I opened my eyes and pulled away from him as he kissed my neck. I grabbed his invading hand, and I told him to stop. And he did. He looked at me for a few seconds, quietly got up and left the room. All of this happened over the period of about five minutes. That is such a small amount of time, but it’s haunted me ever since.

‘The next morning, he acted like nothing happened, so I acted like nothing happened. I thought that maybe I had misinterpreted it all. In 2008, I didn’t have the knowledge and empowerment that came with the #MeToo movement. No one had explained consent to me. Something that was so ambiguous then is very clear now.

‘I was sexually assaulted.’

Wagner won an Olympic team bronze medal in 2014 and is now retired from competitive skating. She says she feared speaking out earlier because she competes in a sport where judges determine success.   

Elon Musk will NOT sue British cave diver he called ‘pedo guy’ for court costs

Elon Musk will not sue the British cave diver he branded ‘pedo guy’ after the billionaire was found not liable in the defamation case.  

Musk’s decision not to sue for court costs comes after diver Vernon Unsworth, 64, agreed not to seek a retrial in the $190million defamation case, DailyMail.com has learned exclusively. 

Unsworth’s team had initially planned to file retrial papers by Christmas, with his lawyer saying it was a mistake for the jury to find Musk not liable Friday for calling the diver a ‘pedo guy’ on Twitter.    

Cave explorer Vernon Unsworth is pictured outside court following the verdict on Friday

Elon Musk will not sue British cave diver Vernon Unsworth (right) for court costs, DailyMail.com has learned exclusively

Hotshot lawyer Alex Spiro is the legal counsel representing Musk in the $190million defamation case

Hotshot lawyer Alex Spiro is the legal counsel representing Musk in the $190million defamation case 

Unsworth previously said he has taken the loss of the court battle ‘on the chin’ and will ‘just have to get on with life’.

However, it hadn’t been determined whether Unsworth would have to pay costs, the extent of which is unknown but could run potentially run well into six figures.

Unsworth has not disclosed if he has taken out insurance against the costs of losing. 

Court documents obtained by DailyMail.com show that each party has agreed to bear their own costs.   

The parties have agreed to forego any appeals or other challenges related to the case. 

Unsworth’s lawyer Mark Stephens claims the jury came to that conclusion based on the fact that Unsworth’s name was not used in the tweet. 

He branded the jury’s decision a mistake which could impact other defamation rulings in the future, The Mirror reports.

Mr Stephens said: ‘That is a serious problem. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a bullying billionaire or a penniless troll, that behavior is ­destructive.’  

A sketch of Musk as he appeared during the hearing in Los Angeles Federal Court during the trial

A sketch of Musk as he appeared during the hearing in Los Angeles Federal Court during the trial

Unsworth is seen flanked by his lawyers, Mark Stephens (left) and Lin Wood (right) following the verdict Friday

Unsworth is seen flanked by his lawyers, Mark Stephens (left) and Lin Wood (right) following the verdict Friday

Vernon Unsworth sued the Tesla co-founder for the slur following the July 2018 Thai cave rescue.

On Friday, a federal court in California heard that Unsworth – one of the hero divers who rescued 12 boys and their soccer coach from the cave – was left feeling ‘humiliated, ashamed, [and] dirtied,’ by billionaire’s tweet. 

However, a jury sided with Musk after his lawyers argued it was no more than a playground insult and did not represent an actual allegation of pedophilia. 

Following news of the verdict, Musk told DailyMail.com: ‘My faith in humanity is restored.’ 

Unsworth had a different opinion, as he left the courtroom stating: ‘I respect the jury’s decision – unfortunately it didn’t go as I expected. 

His British lawyer, Mr Stephens, told DailyMail.com: ‘It’s a pity that a bullying billionaire may be able to cast such a long shadow as this. We came here because Mr Musk said sue or true.’

Mr Stephens continued: ‘We sued today and where we have got to finally is [Musk’s attorney] Alex Spiro, with Mr Musk at his side, admitted that the allegations he made were untrue.’

He added: ‘I hope nobody has to go toe to toe with Mr. Musk again. He’s obviously put a great amount of resources into it.’ 

Whether Unsworth will have to pay costs will not be decided for some time.

Both sides first have to calculate their costs and submit them to the judge, who will then hold a hearing at a date he has yet to decide.

Seeking $190 million in damages, Unsworth told the court about the emotional distress the slur had caused him

Seeking $190 million in damages, Unsworth told the court about the emotional distress the slur had caused him

Musk dubbed Unsworth a 'pedo guy' on Twitter on 15 July 2018, after Unsworth had gave an interview to CNN in which he was critical of the Tesla co-founder

Musk dubbed Unsworth a ‘pedo guy’ on Twitter on 15 July 2018, after Unsworth had gave an interview to CNN in which he was critical of the Tesla co-founder

Musk dubbed Unsworth a ‘pedo guy’ after Unsworth gave an interview to CNN in which he was critical of the Tesla co-founder. 

During that TV appearance, Unsworth told hosts that a rescue pod Musk had sent to the Thai cave site to aide in the retrieval of the trapped children was merely a ‘PR stunt’. 

Unsworth also added that Musk should ‘stick his submarine where it hurts’.

In response, the furious billionaire shared a string of 15 tweets, one of which included the ‘pedo guy’ slur. 

During the defamation proceedings, Musk told the court that he was not implying that Unsworth was an actual ‘pedophile’.   

However, Unsworth’s attorney Lin Wood clapped back, saying that most ‘reasonable people’ would believe Musk meant ‘pedophile’ and not just a ‘creepy old man’. 

‘His testimony was a lie. And I submit that he was also lying when he subsequently apologized,’ the attorney said.

The hero diver and his attorneys are pictured outside court on Friday

The hero diver and his attorneys are pictured outside court on Friday

Wood continued: ‘He intentionally, and for his own self purposes, dropped a bomb… a nuclear bomb on Vernon Unsworth. There are people and relationships and situations that will be harmed for decades because of the fallout from that bomb.’

He said the total damages the jury should impose on Musk should be ‘a hard slap on the wrist,’ and put the figure at $190 million. Musk told the court earlier in the week that he did not have much cash.

Wood argued the jury should award his client $5 million in actual damages, $35 million in assumed damage and $150 million in punitive damages – which amounts to the staggering $190 million sum. 

Addressing the jury of three men and five women, Wood added: ‘Mr. Unsworth has told you the emotional distress he has in his life and the feelings of concern he has about how the fallout will impact his daughter (24-year-old Danielle). It also impacts his friend, his business colleagues… his whole life and his reputation.

‘Who would plant a bomb like this? It was planted by Elon Musk, a multi-billionaire with $20 billion.’

Cave rescue hero Vernon Unsworth (pictured outside court Tuesday) refused to apologize to Elon Musk for calling the billionaire’s plan to use a mini submarine to save 12 Thai boys trapped in a cave a ‘publicity stunt,’ a court heard on Thursday

Pointing out that Unsworth only makes about $30,000 a year in his job as a financial adviser, Wood said: ‘The law must be obeyed by all, rich and poor alike.’

Calling Unsworth one of the ‘heroes’ who saved the lives of the 12 Thai boys and their coach, Wood told the court that if he found himself in a similar dire situation, trapped in a cave, fearing for his life, ‘I would want to look up and see the faces of Vernon Unsworth and Rick Stanton (the lead diver in the rescue)….I would not want to look up and see the face of Elon Musk.

Wood added: ‘Rick Stanton could not have done his expert job without Vernon Unsworth because Vernon knew the cave and the obstacles that needed to be overcome to save these kids.’

Talking about Musk’s mini-submarine which he proposed as a way to get the stranded boys out of the cave, Wood said the metal tube was tested in clear water in an LA swimming pool, not in the murky waters and rocks facing the cave rescuers.

‘Mr. Musk saw the opportunity to capitalize on the world-wide attention being given to the Thai cave rescue,’ added Wood who said it was not the integrity of Musk’s SpaceX engineers – who designed and built the sub – he was questioning.

‘It’s the motives of Elon Musk I am questioning… attention drives investors.

‘After Musk showed up in his private jet with his tube, his shiny object, he met with the Prime Minister of Thailand – because Elon Musk is one of the most influential people in the world. 

‘Then he went to the cave and he went inside to a certain point and brought the tube there…He stepped to the water’s edge and then he left.’

Prince William talked to Unsworth about his lawsuit against Elon Musk when he honored the British cave rescue hero, a court heard Thursday. Unsworth, 64, told the defamation trial in downtown Los Angeles that Prince William spoke with him at Buckingham Palace when presenting him with an MBE in June

Prince William talked to Unsworth about his lawsuit against Elon Musk when he honored the British cave rescue hero, a court heard Thursday. Unsworth, 64, told the defamation trial in downtown Los Angeles that Prince William spoke with him at Buckingham Palace when presenting him with an MBE in June 

A day or two after the rescue, Wood told the jury, Unsworth gave an interview to CNN in which he was asked what he thought of Musk’s mini sub and he responded, ‘He can stick it where it hurts.’ 

Wood said: ‘He was calling bulls**t on the tube. It was too long, too rigid, it was just a publicity stunt.’

Unsworth’s criticism of the sub was what prompted Musk to call him a ‘pedo’ on Twitter, where the entrepreneur has 22 million followers.

‘How can you accuse someone of being a pedophile when you don’t know anything about them,’ said Wood.

Musk deleted the tweet, issued an apology on Twitter but, added Wood: ‘When Elon Musk tweets something, it goes around the world. You cannot delete that.

‘He was forced to apologize….this was not a genuine apology. He was under pressure from colleagues and Tesla stock. This was an apology of convenience.

‘He could have picked up the phone and called Vernon and said: ‘I’m sorry for calling you “pedo guy” – which can be construed as a pedophile.’

TIMELINE OF THE THAI RESCUE AND MUSK AND UNSWORTH’S DISPUTE 

June 23 2018: The boys and their soccer coach become trapped in the caves

July 8: Musk tweets that he is using Tesla engineers to build a ‘kid size’ submarine to try to get them out

The Thai soccer team got lost in caves while exploring and became stuck for days. Musk offered to help and sent a team of Tesla engineers to build a submarine to get them out

The Thai soccer team got lost in caves while exploring and became stuck for days. Musk offered to help and sent a team of Tesla engineers to build a submarine to get them out 

July 8 – 10: The boys were rescued gradually in a complex mission involving hundreds of people 

July 13: Vernon Unsworth gives a CNN interview where he is asked about Musk’s plan. He calls it a ‘PR stunt’ and says: ‘He can stick it where it hurts’ in reference to the submarine 

July 15: Musk tweets calling him a ‘pedo guy’ 

 

July 17: Musk apologizes

August 15: Musk hires private investigator James Howard after he got in touch with him saying, in an email:  ‘Dear Elon, you may wish to dig deep and look into Mr. Unsworth’s past… no smoke without fire!’

They set about launching their ‘investigation’ but go to great lengths to keep Musk separate from it. In emails, Musk’s associate Jared Birchall carried out their dealings and Musk was referred to as ‘the principle’. He and Birchall never discussed it in writing.

August 28: Musk tweets in response to a follower who accused him of lying about Unsworth: ‘You don’t think it’s strange he hasn’t sued me yet?

August 30: BuzzFeed reporter emails Musk for a comment. He replies saying, among other things, that Unsworth married a ‘child bride’ and inferring that he is a rapist

September 4: BuzzFeed publishes the story 

September 5: Private Investigator emails Birchall, Musk’s associate, saying: ‘At no time have have I reported that the target is a child rapist.’

September 17: Unsworth files a lawsuit against Musk