Ruth Langsford has candidly detailed her emotional struggle in a new interview after her sister Julia Johnson took her own life in June last year.
The This Morning presenter, 60, opened up about her emotional moments where she breaks down in the shower during a chat with Prima.
In June 2019, Ruth’s sister Julia, 62, who had battled depression for years, was found dead by her husband Paul at their home in Lingfield, Surrey in June 2019.
Strong: Ruth Langsford has candidly detailed her emotional struggle in a new interview after her sister Julia Johnson took her own life in June last year
Detailing how she has coped since Julia’s death, she said:’ I’ve learned now that I can have those moments; sometimes, I have a good old cry in the shower and feel better for it. I think it’s good to have a loud, snotty cry.’
However while Ruth said that while she has shed many tears over the loss of her sister, she feels she ‘can’t spend her whole life crying’.
She said: ‘You can’t spend your whole life crying. I’ve done a lot of crying over my sister.
Much missed: The This Morning presenter, 60, opened up about her emotional moments where she breaks down in the shower during a chat with Prima
Detailing how she has coped since Julia’s death, she said:’ I’ve learned now that I can have those moments; sometimes, I have a good old cry in the shower’
‘It’s not even a sense of saying, “Pull yourself together and get back to work,” it’s just that you have to get on with your life and you can’t get on with it if you’re crying all day.’
Ruth admitted that she has been left feeling confused by Julia’s sudden death because it leaves so many ‘unanswered questions’.
She said: ‘It still feels like yesterday that I lost my sister. When you lose somebody, it’s just horrible. But when someone takes their own life, it leaves you with so many questions that can’t be answered.
Tears: However while Ruth said that while she has shed many tears over the loss of her sister, she feels she ‘can’t spend her whole life crying’
Out now! Read the full interview in Prima’s October issue, on sale 4th September
‘It was tragic and difficult for all of us, but my sister wanted me to live a happy life. I’m lucky that I have a loving husband and a good family, and all I can do is live a happy life in her memory.’
Earlier this year, Ruth revealed how she almost quit her TV presenting career after being left ‘heartbroken’ following the death of her sister.
At the time, the ITV host told viewers her sister had died ‘after a long illness’, with an inquest later ruling she had died by suicide.
Tough time: Earlier this year, Ruth revealed how she almost quit her TV presenting career after being left ‘heartbroken’ following the death of her sister
Speaking to Best Magazine, the This Morning and Loose Women star admitted: ‘It seemed wrong to be cheery on screen, when, inside, my heart was breaking.’
It was Ruth’s husband Eamonn Holmes who encouraged her to go back to work in memory of Julia, after she admitted she had ‘no motivation or desire’ to be in the public eye.
After a month of ‘crying, screaming and sobbing’, Ruth said Eamonn told her she had ‘so much to live for.’
Ruth explained: ‘Eamonn pointed out that he was, in effect, losing not one, but two of the most precious people in his life – Julia and me. He showed me how I had so much to live for in Julia’s memory – and beyond.’
‘He pleaded with me not to let it win, by ruining everything I had achieved – and still had to celebrate.’
Ruth took a week off her regular presenting duties with Eamonn on This Morning immediately after Julia’s death.
Two months later she left the This Morning studio in tears unable to continue with a phone-in on anxiety and depression.
Speaking to psychologist Emma Kenny on This Morning in February this year, Ruth spoke in public about her sister’s suicide for the first time, explaining: ‘This happened in my family. I remember my shock at that. It’s the questions it leaves the families’.
Love: It was Ruth’s husband Eamonn Holmes who encouraged her to go back to work in memory of Julia, after she admitted she had ‘no motivation or desire’ to be in the public eye
She continued with a list of a list of questions family members may have: ‘I should have gone round. I should have phoned. I was going to go round.
‘I was going to phone. Maybe I should have stayed longer,’ she said.
She added: ‘You are left with the ‘what ifs’. It’s her family now that I think will need so much help.’
Sharing a photo alongside Julia in June last year, Ruth told her Instagram followers at the time of her sister’s tragic death: ‘My lovely Sis Julia has sadly died after a very long illness. My heart is completely broken.’
‘She was the kindest and most gentle soul and I will miss her forever. As I am sure you will appreciate I need to take time to grieve with my family. ‘Thank you for your understanding.’
If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org
Read the full interview in Prima’s October issue, on sale 4th September.
Back on screens: Ruth explained: ‘Eamonn pointed out that he was, in effect, losing not one, but two of the most precious people in his life’