Curtain-twitcher draws diagram to explain her street’s parking drama… ahead of a potential bust up

A woman who works from home has kept such tight tabs on her street’s parking drama she’s drawn a diagram – ahead of an anticipated spat because her neighbours have all parked in the wrong space. 

In an anonymous post on the British parenting site mumsnet a woman admitted she has ‘no life’ but wanted to offer up analysis of her neighbourhood’s parking issues after weeks of curtain twitching.

She drew a diagram featuring 16 boxes – one for each house and two more for an access road and a set of garages – and labelled each from A to N.

The woman went on to describe a complex parking situation, because her road features a mix of houses with and without driveways.

She penned: ‘See diagram below. I WFH [work from home] and have no life but I’m pretty sure this will be entertaining to the Mumsnet parking thread folk!’

She went on to explain the owner of House A doesn’t have a car, but holds claim to the disabled parking space so he can be collected from his home’s side entrance.

His next-door-neighbour, House B, is the trickiest and most ‘hysterical’ resident on the street, and seemingly the cause of most of the problems because ‘most people are afraid’ of her.

She wrote: ‘House A, no car but X denotes the allocated disabled spot so he can be collected via a side entrance from his house.’

On the basic diagram of the scenario there is an X to the right of House A, then a number one in front of House B’s door (between two possible spaces), leaving just four other places to park along the road. 

She said: ‘House B, one car, has to park with car door level with front door, meaning she always uses space 1&2. 

‘Most people are afraid to park here. If someone does, she parks touching their bumper, in some kind of laying down the law attempt and stands there shouting “whose is this?” and similar nonsense.’

Next comes House C, whose owners have one car but aren’t usually home so get the last pick of the limited spaces – usually having to leave their car in the disabled bay or further along the road where there are spaces in front of a garage.

She succinctly continued: ‘House D, one car. Usually gets home first so gets space 3. House E, house with drive. House F, car but no drive. Usually parks in space 4. House G, H, I, J have drives.’

But yet more drama ensues when it comes to House K, who have two cars but no driveway. 

‘They have been frequently told they are taking over the street and are not allowed to park in space 5, as it blocks House G’s drive and does not allow House F to park in space 4,’ she added. 

‘I do point out that this has the same impact as house F parking in space 4 on me, but apparently not.’

She then revealed House M have a drive but no car and House N have a house with a driveway.

And the owners of Houses B, F, G and M often meet in the street for a ‘gossip’ where they complain ‘people who haven’t lived here for a billion years like them, are taking over, who do they think they are, they can’t just park where they like etc.’

But things amped up a notch when she revealed the status quo was completely shattered after a chaotic day of parking – with the owner of House B, who was due home at 10pm, guaranteed to kick up a fuss.

During yesterday’s post she continued: ‘So, if you’re still with me, this brings me to today. In a spectacular turn of events, house K, who give no s***s about fake parking laws, have parked in space 4. 

‘Their other car is further along in front of garage, as well as an unknown car.

‘House F have now come home parked kind of across both X and space 1 (basically leaving house Bs usual space for them). They are watching non stop to ensure they get their space back.

‘Very unusually, house C is home and has parked in space 2.

‘So. There is no space left in the street and house B, the most precious and hysterical have nowhere to park. They will return at 10pm.

‘This actually keeps me entertained daily. Sad I know.’ 

Other Mumsnet readers were loving the drama as they flooded into the comments to share their appreciation, and their own parking nightmares.

One wrote: ‘House B is finally going to get what she deserves.’

Another added: ‘People with no drives and no allocated/official/paid for parking spaces have no say on where they or anybody else parks. That’s it.

‘Please suggest to B that she approaches M (drive but no car) and ask if she can rent her parking space – paying a suitable annual amount commensurate which the extra price the people with drives paid for their properties, because they had off-street parking.’

One penned: ‘Yup, I do love a bit of street drama. My street used to be very quiet. No business at the top of the road, and most of the people who lived here were elderly, quiet and didn’t have cars. 

‘Now it’s getting more dramatic every year as new people move in.’

Another wrote: ‘OP, could you go out around 10pm when B is due home to put out your recycling, but have your camera ready to capture the action?’

Another revealed their mother is the same as the owner of House B. 

They said: ‘Sounds a bit like my mum’s street. She’s ‘B’ and goes nuts if anyone parks in my dad’s disabled parking space outside her house. She’s constantly “meerkatting” out the front window to see what’s going on.

‘Thing is though, my dad’s been dead for 10 years and she doesn’t drive. And the worst bit, it’s not even a proper disabled space. 

‘He got sick of waiting for the council to put one in so bought some paint and did it himself.’