A couple who share four adopted children and IVF twins are preparing for their final Christmas together following a devastating terminal cancer diagnosis.
Childhood sweethearts David, 41, and Lisa Parkes, 40, of Prenton on the Wirral, met when they were 10 and have been an item since their teens.
David was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer two years ago and underwent chemo and radiotherapy before a gruelling operation to remove his oesophagus.
After receiving the all clear in April, the couple were devastated to discover the disease had returned – with stay-at-home-dad David given just 12 months to live.
Childhood sweethearts David, 41, and Lisa Parkes, 40, of Prenton on the Wirral, met when they were 10 and have been an item since their teens (pictured)
Desperate for the family to make precious memories in David’s final months, Lisa’s brother James set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for them to enjoy one last holiday together – which will be the first time all eight of them have been abroad.
Speaking to FEMAIL, teaching assistant Lisa said the full extent of what lies ahead hasn’t yet sunk in.
‘I know that I am just numb,’ she said. ‘I’m just trying to carry on for David and the kids because I know if I become emotionally involved, I will break.
‘I have my moments when I’m in the car on my own and I cry, I’ve cried with David, but I know the full extent of what they’ve said has not sunk in at all. We just have to live each day.’
Lisa and David share four adopted children and IVF twins. Pictured main front row from left to right: Zach, eight, Callum, 18, Cole, 12, Annie, eight, Kelsey, 16, Ellie-May, 12. Pictured back right, David.
After moving into their first home together in 1998, the couple began thinking about starting a family.
Having been diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) when she was 16, Lisa knew she would struggle to conceive and the couple were placed on the waiting list for IVF on the NHS.
They went on to suffer three failed attempts, which Lisa said was ‘absolutely devastating’.
‘It was very hard – my mum was really poorly at the time, she had systemic sclerosis, which affected her organs, but all I was focused on was staying positive and trying to get through without thinking too much about it,’ she admitted.
‘But every time we had a negative test it was a horrible feeling, especially when we were getting older and all of our friends around us were having children. But I never gave up, I just always knew deep down that we would have kids.’
After moving into their first home together in 1998, the couple began thinking about starting a family. Pictured: Lisa and David as teenagers
The couple suffered three failed IVF attempts on the NHS, which Lisa said was ‘absolutely devastating
Around the time of their third attempt, Lisa received a phone call from social services to say her cousin Jacqueline – who’d lost her mother at 15 and had four children by the age of 20 – was struggling to cope.
She and David instantly agreed to take on her youngest two children, twins Cole and Ellie-May, now 12, and applied to become foster parents, which was granted in January 2010. Meanwhile Lisa’s other cousin took on the older two children.
When the children moved in that March, Lisa said it was ‘amazing’ and felt perfectly natural.
‘I’d watched every single one of them be born, I was there through all of it, so we were close anyway and had a strong relationship,’ she recalled. ‘It all fell into place and we were just so happy.’
Tragically Jacqueline passed away suddenly last year at the age of 34, due to an undiagnosed heart condition.
Lisa’s mother Ann, pictured left, scraped together enough money for Lisa and David to have one last try of IVF, this time going private
She and Lisa were still close and she visited the twins now and then, with the children aware she was their birth mother.
While Lisa was going through the fostering process, her mother Ann had been scraping together every penny she had and offered to pay for her and David to have one last try at IVF.
Lisa explained: ‘I was overweight and had been losing a lot of weight – so when Mum said that it pushed me even more, because I knew it would be our last chance.
‘By the time we started the private round of IVF in April 2010, I’d lost seven-and-a-half stone.
‘Our minds were quite preoccupied with the children so we didn’t have time to sit and dwell on it like we had before. We had the embryos implanted on August 20, and had to wait 10 days for a test.
Lisa and David took on a family member’s four children, and welcomed their twins Annie and Zach after their fourth round of IVF
‘I couldn’t wait so we did one after nine. We did what we’d always done – put it on the bedside table upside down. After about five minutes we picked it up, and I was pregnant.
‘It completely took my breath away. We cried and I called my mum to tell her; obviously I was upset on the phone so she thought it hadn’t worked!
‘When I told her she started crying. It didn’t seem real. In the next two weeks I must have bought about 20 pregnancy tests just to check I was definitely pregnant.’
At their first scan they were told they were expecting twins.
‘I think we were both in shock, because we’d tried for so long and hadn’t even thought about multiple births, we just wanted a baby,’ Lisa said.
‘We were completely overwhelmed, happy – and apprehensive. In a year we would have gone from having no children to having four!
The couple have been to Disneyland Paris with the children, but have never had a beach holiday abroad as a family of eight
‘We found out at Christmas that we were having a boy and a girl – it was magical, like a dream come true. David was over the moon we were having a boy, and I always wanted a girl, so we got what we both wanted.’
A month later in January, Lisa’s mother went into hospital where she took a turn for the worst.
With her mum having battled her condition for 16 years, Lisa was used to her being poorly – but this time it was different.
‘In all the time she’d been really poorly she was always a fighter, even if she was lying there she’d smile and make a joke, but she wasn’t doing any of that,’ she recalled.
‘I said to her, “Don’t you be going anywhere, you’ve got to meet your grandchildren,” and she got hold of my hand and said, “I won’t,” and that was pretty much the last time I saw her.’
That night Lisa’s mother passed away, with her and James by her side.
‘I felt like I couldn’t get upset because of the babies,’ Lisa said. ‘I was seven months pregnant and every time I did I felt them kicking. I was worried I was causing them stress, so I held it all in.’
Lisa gave birth to Annie – named after her mother – and Zach, both now eight, two weeks early in April by caesarean, which she described as a ‘mind-blowing’ experience.
But after a few months Lisa started to struggle, with the weight of her grief and the stress of being a new mother-of-four taking its toll.
‘I found it really difficult to sleep, I started getting really anxious. I got to the point where I wouldn’t go out the house,’ she said, admitting she suffered an emotional breakdown.
Lisa was diagnosed with post-natal depression and prescribed anti-depressants and a course of cognitive behavioural therapy, and after a year she began to feel like her old self again.
Lisa’s mother Ann (pictured left when Lisa was a child and right before she died) battled systemic sclerosis for 16 years, and passed away when Lisa was seven months pregnant
‘It was a really, really dark time,’ she admitted. ‘When I look back now, David was amazing. He got me through it, him and the children.
‘I don’t know where I’d be without David, he was my rock. I’d go to bed and cry and he’d comfort me. He’d get up in the night with the babies so I could have more sleep.’
For a couple of years life continued as normal, until Lisa received another phone call from social services, this time telling her that her other cousin was struggling with the older children she’d taken on.
David and Lisa immediately agreed to take on Callum, now 18, and Kelsey, now 16 – Cole and Ellie-May’s siblings – and applied for special guardianship.
David and Lisa immediately agreed to take on Callum, now 18, and Kelsey, now 16 – Cole and Ellie-May’s siblings
Lisa said: ‘We had the perfect life; apart from normal ups and downs, we had a great life until a couple of years ago.’
David started having trouble swallowing and after four months, by which point he was struggling to eat, he was referred for an endoscopy, where doctors found an advanced tumour.
He was diagnosed with early stage three cancer and treated with chemotherapy and radiotherapy before an 11-hour operation to remove his oesophagus.
‘We were absolutely devastated, it was a really hard pill to swallow,’ Lisa said.
‘He was diagnosed before Christmas – we went on a little family holiday to Blackpool to clear our heads and get away. Believe it or not it was one of the best holidays we’ve ever had as it put stuff into perspective, we cherished every moment.
‘Afterwards we told the children. Annie has autism so she didn’t process it at all, she acted completely normal, like it was a cold.
‘The children were so strong and if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t have got through it, they are what got me up every morning.’
David was given the all clear in April, but five weeks ago he started suffering again from a sore throat.
‘Lots of things were going round, people having colds, so he just thought it was normal, then he got up one morning and his voice was gone,’ Lisa said.
Following an appointment at the ear, nose and throat clinic and a CT scan, the couple’s worst fears were confirmed – the cancer had come back, and this time it was inoperable.
‘The doctor said there was nothing they could do apart from offer chemotherapy and palliative care,’ Lisa said.
‘It’s hit David really hard. At the most he has 12 months with chemotherapy, if we go ahead with it. Without chemo, it’s more like six.
‘We’ve told the children because David is a strong believer in them knowing to give them more time to process what’s going on and that he’s going to die.’
David and Lisa found out his cancer was back last month – and are now determined to make the most of their time left together
Lisa’s brother suggested setting up a GoFundMe page to raise money for the family to enjoy their first ever holiday together abroad.
‘At first I was very against the fundraiser, but James talked me into it, explaining it’s a time to think about all of us and the memories,’ she said.
‘He told me, “You don’t feel like this now, but you need to look at the bigger picture and both swallow your pride and think about having the best time you can”.
‘The response has been absolutely overwhelming. My head was spinning yesterday with the amount of messages and support we’ve had.’
To donate to Lisa and David’s cause, click here.